Baker's Budget Passes, Layoffs Take Place July 1st

Humor
Citizens Form Volunteer Brigades To Assist Career Colleagues

by: Lou Angeli

Exclusivo

WILMINGTON, DE (May 28, 2009) -- Even with 4 NO votes and 2 abstentions, the city of Wilmington's controversial FY 2010 budget passed City Council this evening with just 7 votes. Last week the vote was tabled to give the city more time to hammer out an agreement with Wilmington Fire Fighters Local 1590.

"Oh, we hammered," says Kevin Turner, president of IAFF Local 1590. "We hammered on Bill Montgomery's door day in and day out -- and he never answered."

So, in essence, the Baker administration flipped Wilmington City Council the Golden Phoenix, ignoring Council President Norm Griffith's assurances that "we'll have an agreement by next Thursday."

Well, today is next Thursday, and it has come and gone. The administration will not consider a simple language change, a short clause which would protect newly-hired firefighters from being dropped. A small request to bring about unity and guarantee citizen safety.

"Their reluctance to add such a caviat,' says UD professor Claude Reynolds, 'is proof positive that it has been the administration's plan to conduct layoffs all along."

Negotiations experts from across the country are following the drama closely, suggesting that Mayor Baker's mind may have been taken over by former Vice President Dick Cheney.

"It's as if he doesn't feel the need to answer to anyone," commented Patrice J. Gooding, acting CEO of The Medium Sized City Political Coalition. Council members should have been insulted by Baker's lack of response, Gooding says, instead "they seem to like the fact that he's not paying any attention to them."

In the meantime, Lord William Montgomery suggested that 8 layoffs would not be sufficient and to expect more firings.

"We're considering 30 layoffs in total,' Montgomery explained, 'because we still haven't fully funded the Barber Shop Quartet Festival," which is scheduled to be held on the Riverfront in August.

Montgomery continued, "Knocking off another 22 firefighters should do the trick and provide us the monies needed to make this a wholesome, well attended event."

"Even with 30 firefighters gone, we'll be able to maintain rapid response times and quality service." says Nunzio Scarpetti, a firefighting consultant who Mayor Baker has elevated to SuperDooperChief of the Wilmington Fire Department.

Scarpetti, a volunteer from Long Island, laughed. "We'll show these Wilmington boys how to make a 2-man engine company effective." Asked to explain, Scarpetti noted that he wasn't sure what he meant. "I just like to say shit that sounds good."

In the meantime, Wilmingtonians are gearing up to provide their own fire-rescue protection. In the city's Little Italy section, a new mimi-pumper was donated by private contributions to residents of "The Antonian," a high rise apartment complex for the elderly. The brigade is currently conducting training in the parish rectory, and includes both men and women.

Leading the new brigade into action is Brother Mike, a St. Anthony's icon, most recognized for his work during the Italian festival. Mike is confident that the brigade will be effective.

"I guarantee you that we'll smoke Engine 6 anywhere northof 8th Street," said the 87 year old Oblate. "Hell, let em roll the entire house -- we'll have the fire knocked down by the time they arrive."

"They can take up my freakin' lines!" said Dolores DeFeo, who at 92, is wagon driver for the brigade.

Dolores proudly notes that she comes from firefighting stock. Her great grandfather was part of the Rome Fire Brigade during Nero's famous violin solo.

Other brigades are forming around the city, but are less boastful than those on "the hill."

"We concede that our career colleagues are under a bit of a disadvantage," said Rev. Theo Green, of Riverside. "We're simply trying to give them a helping hand during these hard times."

It's Rev Green and Brother Mike's enthusiasm that will allow the members of the Wilmington Fire Department to keep their minds during the final years of the Baker administration.

We're all hoping that by then, someone special ascends to Wilmington's Mayordom. Perhaps someone who understands that public safety is about protecting the citizen public -- not playing head games with firefighters and law enforcement personnel.

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Note: Like Weekend Update, many of the stories and comments which appear in the piece have been fabricated. For example, Dolores DeFeo is only 91.

Kokomo Fire Chief, Deputy, Resign Over Layoffs

Bitter Battle Ends With 12 Firefighter Layoffs

contributed by
KEN de la BASTIDE

KOKOMO, IN (May 28, 2009) The two highest ranking administrative officers of the Kokomo Fire Department have resigned their positions as a result of Mayor Greg Goodnight's decision to lay off 12 firefighters.

Chief Scott Kern, a 20-year veteran of the department, and Assistant Chief Randy Wilson submitted their letters of resignation Friday to Goodnight, according to city spokesman David Gavin. The resignations took effect on Sunday.

Both Kern and Wilson remain with the department. Gavin said Goodnight has named Deputy Chief Brad Myers as acting chief. Earlier this month, Goodnight ended the department's EMS service. Those duties were shifted to Howard Regional Health System and St. Joseph Hospital.

The layoff of the 12 firefighters was not unexpected. Jeremy Shaw, president of Local 396 of the International Association of Firefighters Union, said last week that since Goodnight took office on Jan. 1, 2008, the number of firefighters has declined from 121 to 100.

Kern said last week that Goodnight’s decision jeopardizes safety at fire scenes for members of the department.

Goodnight said Kern has mentioned resigning three or four times in the past few weeks.Kern could not be reached for comment.“What we have done is revamp the fire department,”

Goodnight said Tuesday. “We have eliminated two administrative offices, reducing that number from eight to six and eliminated ambulance transport, which had 15 jobs associated with the service but only eliminated 12 positions.

“We have the same number of people at each station and truck and the same number of stations,” he continued.

Goodnight said he met three times with officials of Local 396 to provide them an opportunity to help find a solution. He said the union recommended closing Kokomo Beach and the Senior Citizens Center. Goodnight said that would not provide enough savings.

“This is an attempt by firefighters to hold onto their benefits,” Goodnight said. “The union president also suggested a trash fee, which the citizens of Kokomo can’t afford.”

A pamphlet being distributed by the firefighters union is urging residents to speak out against the cuts in the fire department.

“Hardest hit will be the southeastern and southwestern parts of the city,” the pamphlet reads, “which is troubling since high-occupancy buildings such as the Walnut Creek Apartments, Westbrook Apartments and new library are located in this areas.”

The pamphlet further states with the planned annexation of 14 square miles over the next two years the fire department’s resources will be stretched thinner, which could mean longer response times.

Goodnight said the pamphlet is not accurate in that the Kokomo Fire Department already provides service to 7 square miles of the annexation area that are in Center Township.

“When I eliminated the two management positions, the union said it created a safety issue,” Goodnight said. “When we eliminated ambulance transport, the union said it created a safety issue.

“They say it every single time,” he said. “We have less people in the front office and no people providing ambulance transport. Everything has stayed exactly the same."

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Rescource: Kokomo Tribune